Match fixing for world peace

In an unexpected boost to Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh’s efforts to utilize the World Cup semi-final between India and Pakistan for improving bilateral relations between the two nuclear armed countries, both the Indian and Pakistani teams have announced that they shall deliberately concede atleast 25 runs and 1 wicket as a confidence building measure.

“Dont worry. This is match fixing for world peace. Plus it is free of cost”, said a Pakistani player on condition of anonymity when enquired about the decision. “This is just great, I’m very excited about seeing the ball race past between my legs and not doing anything about it. That should be very interesting”, he said. When it was suggested that this may not be the first time that Pakistani players would be deliberately leaking runs, the player angrily shot back “I know! I know!”

Sources report that the Indian team was initially skeptical about agreeing to the deal but relented to strong demands from certain players, particularly Kerala Express Sreesanth. Sreesanth is expected to get a call ahead of Munaf Patel for the crucial semi-final. When contacted for comments, Sreesanth revealed the reasons behind his enthusiastic support to the deal, “You see, I can get thrashed around for runs and yet bring cheer to both countries. Now isnt that something!”

Cricketing experts on channels like Times Now, CNN-IBN, NDTV, Headlines Today, NewsX, IndiaTV, Aaj Tak, ETV, TV9, MaaTV, GeminiTV, to name a few, were engrossed in heated debates about the possible contenders to concede the one wicket from either side. But Boria “100 dB” Majumdar, in typical fashion, proved everyone wrong and came up with the final word: Sehwag from India and Afridi from Pakistan. Revealing the brilliant thinking behind the decision, he said “These two batsman are known to throw away their wickets anyway”, shrugging his shoulders and opening up his palms to the sky. “So it’s a natural choice”, he said, making cricket expert-giri look ridiculously simple.

We also caught up with former Indian captain and legend Mohammad Azharuddin for comments. Azhar saw his wonderful career end because of a match fixing scandal. “They never understood me, what I was actually trying to do”, was his cryptic and only reply.